me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Everything about him screamed your future.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
