Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
