My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize