He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
