Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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