And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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