So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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