Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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