bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
