I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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