You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i would one night stand the shit outta him
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
