That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
