I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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