trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
