He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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