Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
