My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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