i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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