So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
