1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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