Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize