with your own penis?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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