so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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