i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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