I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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