He told me they were just razor bumps!
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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