I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
