Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
