He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There r osticjed everywhere
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
