So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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