we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
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I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
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there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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