So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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