its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
