I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize