I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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