As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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