I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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