I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
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its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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