please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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