Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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