I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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