I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
