i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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