She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
