He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
