R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
