i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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