I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
