yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
