Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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