there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
