She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
