I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
