I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
