the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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