okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
