I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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