we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
