You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
