Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
