I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
