At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize