I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
