Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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