I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
