Barsexuality is the new black.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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